Sober me needs help to start new

Recovering Addict needing help to start new Thank you for clicking to read my story. To stay anonymous, because this is the last thing I want to do, my name is Karen. I’ve been trying to figure out ways to help myself before having to come onto the cyber world and ask for anyone’s help who may be reading. As of today I’m 674 days sober. I’m a recovering alcoholic who also towards the end abused prescribed Xanax. I drank since I was 16/17 and began really heavy in 2016 when my grandmother got sick and was living with me. I would drink every night to feel nothing and make myself numb. I had other issues within myself as well that I tried to mask with beer, wine or anything that would get me drunk. She died February of ‘16and I got worse. Watching someone so precious to you fade away before your own eyes is the worst thing to live with. Until May of ‘17 came and my Dad had a massive heart attack at 62 and dropped dead. I had put myself in the hospital by taking a handful of Xanax and washing it down with 2 magnums of wine 2 months before his day. I take pride in the fact I was able to stay sober throughout losing him too. I’ve always been a hard worker and had my first job at 16 and made sure I made enough money to pay my bills and have some fun. Until the having fun part became an issue. I didn’t care what drunk me was spending money on. As long as I had enough to drink every night and have fun and pay a few bills I was good to go. That rolled into learning about consolidating into personal loans and consolidating those loans into another bigger loan and here I am with 30,000 in debt with nothing to show for it. I met the love of my life towards the end of my downward spiral and she stayed with me and put up with me through thick and thin all the way to today. I am so in love with her and I want to provide for her and have a house and kids and everything I had growing up. I come from a family of 5 and family is a big part of my life. I cannot ask my mother for help as she is now widowed and working to make ends meet with her own situation. My siblings have their families and kids to provide for as well. I never thought I would come to a site like this but I’m hoping someone will read my short story and help me get out of the hole I put myself in so that I can live comfortably and happy. Money doesn’t buy happiness, I am happy, I would just feel better knowing I don’t owe all this money and I’m not working and working for nothing to really be coming of it. I can’t do this on my own. I have already started in the right direction being in complete control of myself and living life sober. I really had forgotten how good you can feel and how much time I’ve lost abusing. My goal is to pay that big loan I have off so that I will be able to help my mother, help myself and help others as much as I can. I’m a big believer in paying it forward and I plan to do just that. So whoever you are reading this, I simply ask for any donation that you can give. I thank you and God Bless. Peace and Blessings K
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Created Feb 08, 2019 USA

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